I mean, I've had a few gay guys offer, squeeze my junk at a party or tell me they'd like to get on their knees and open their mouth for me and lick my pole, stuff like that. I mean, who doesn't like a nice blowjob? But eventually I pushed him off cause I'm not gay. "Are you seriously trying to invoke the Five Second Rule for blowjobs?" Not sure it really counts, though, since it wasn't like I came or anything." I thought he was just joking around, but then he bent over and started sucking on me, took me by surprise. "Well, there was this guy on the track team in high school who kind of hit on me once in the locker room after track practice, waiting around until it was just the two of us toweling off after the shower. He played nervously with his long shiny hair. "None," he said quickly, but then he got a guilty look on his face and averted his eyes. I'll accept the nearest order of magnitude if you were such a slut you lost track." Then just the wife since." I took a swig of beer, and decided to up the ante. "Counting blowjobs, but not fingering and handjobs, maybe thirty, forty chicks. "Counting blowjobs and handjobs, or just fucking fucks?" "So, what do you think your number is now?" We sipped beer in companionable silence, then Harry said, "Whatta you feel like doing tonight?" I've been getting hard all week long, but every time I start touching her and trying to get her turned on, she tells me she's got work to do or some such bullshit. "Seriously? How often do you and Carina fuck?" he asked. Perhaps he should have been pissed about it, but he's a pretty chill zen guy. I laughed and spun the box of tissues across the coffee table to him. "Well," Harry said, the sarcasm barely detectable. Harry waved his leg around, trying to shake Buddy off, but that only got Buddy more excited about his best friend at that moment, and he shot his load on Harry's leg. Buddy the Corgi, being the horny bastard that he is, wagged his stub of a tail and started the festivities by humping Harry's leg. We sat on his leather couch and each took a swig. He had grown into a tall slim man with masculine features except for his long shaggy black hair, which tumbled luxuriously below his shoulders, making him look like a rock star or maybe a modern day Jesus.
He was my best friend since we were little kids poking at anthills with sticks and daring each other to climb further up onto dangerously thin branches at the top of trees. Harry came out of the kitchen with two opened IPA beers. The garage door squeaked up and back down.
I heard the sound of our car's engine starting up. Then I squeezed the other cheek.Ĭarina repo'd her butt from my hand, then she and Harry's wife Dakota waved goodbye and left through the back door into the garage. "It's time for an inappropriate hug," I said, poker-faced. "Hey, baby," I said, kissing my wife, Carina, and squeezing her ample sexy booty.